Making room for the amazing!

I made room in my head last Sunday afternoon.  Oh yeah, and my closet too.

Every time I walked past my closet, I could feel the malicious energy seeping under the snugly shut sliding doors.  The chaotic image reached out before entered, bulging sections of skirts and sweater, the top bar sagging under the weight of tee-shirts and sleeveless sheathes, hangers twisted towards the ceiling, trying to escape.  Each morning I got dressed with a sense of pride and relief.  Somehow I had lived through another hunt for the right outfit among the graveyard of illfitting clothes.

About a year ago, I did a Life Dare TV episode about making room in my very crowded closet.  I made progress by focusing on shedding what no longer worked, filling six garbage bags of clothing filled with a strange mix of golf shirts (my husbands) and boob shirts (from my dancing days).   I walked the walk, I talked the talk, but I didn’t embrace the change and as a result, my closet still felt…crowded.

We all have our limits for the level of chaos and dysfunction we are willing to tolerate and on Sunday that I finally reached mine.  In that moment of surrender, my mind was freed to think clearly.

Why would I keep clothing that I would never wear, that no longer looked good on me, that didn’t have a future?

Two hours later, surrounded by clothes and purses and empty hangers, I was left with a closet strangely streamlined and calm.  I was ruthless in my endeavor.  In order to remain in my life, my clothing had to fit the following description:

• It had to fit me (functionality)
• I had to imagine wearing it regularly (usability)
• I had to feel I looked good while I wore it (enjoyment levels).

As I let go of the red button down from 2003 and the cream blouse I just bought online, the dialogue- no, the internal battle- continued on.

• I could wear this with those blue leggings.  But I haven’t and I probably won’t.  
• I just bought this.  I could wait another five months and it’s still not going to fit.  
• But there’s nothing wrong with  this purse.  Even so, I just don’t love it.

 One by one, I had to explain to myself why it was time to let go.  And with each piece of clothing I threw into the pile, I was making room for the things what worked, what I needed.

Here’s what I learned:

Closet Lesson #1:  I was hanging on to the past, because I was afraid the future wouldn’t deliver.

I had cleaned my closet out before.  It was actually a regular occurence, about every three to four months.  My real issue was financial post-traumatic stress.  I had been through foreclosure, job loss, and another fourteen garden-variety types of financial trauma.  I was afraid of the scarcity.   If I got rid of my sort-of-okay black shirt, I wasn’t so sure I would be able to replace it with a fantastic one.  So I hung on to the not-so-good.

What fears are keeping you from making room?  Maybe it’s a romantic relationship that you know it’s quite right, but why trade in a perfectly nice warm body for an empty and cold space?  Your career is not challenging.  But you hang on to the routine because the alternative is scary and unknown.  The problem is, your less-than-the-best situation is keeping you from embracing a better future.

Closet Lesson #2:  Even the best things can be crowded out by the stuff you don’t need.

The day after Operation Good Riddance, I stepped into my closet and immediately noticed a difference.  My clothing could breathe.  I could breathe!  Everything I could see and touch was good for me, gone was the frustrating activity of digging for a shirt that artfully covered my bulges among all the tops that seemed to highlight the same.  The clothing that worked for my life wasn’t choked out by all the stuff that I had no intention of embracing.  I could see what I had and I felt cared for somehow.

Do you have to dig for the good stuff?  When your refrigerator is filled with fatty, delectable treats, you may not have the strength to fight for that head of lettuce.  If your schedule is filled with activities that support your family or make your money, it’s likely you won’t “find” the time to invest your health and workout.  Making your priorities a daily treasure hunt only raises the likelihood you will misplace them.  It should be easier, don’t you think?

Closet Lesson #3:  That energy you are feeling is trying to tell you something.

The need to clean out my closet wasn’t an exercise in organization.  It was an exorcism of bad energy!  I know I had a problem, and the possible solution.  The picture was delivered to me at least several times a day, every time I approached my closet.  The message:  this situation is not good for you.  You are losing efficiency.  This is too hard.  Something needs to change.

Are you getting messages you need to make room?    Everything around you is connected- a web of good and bad energy.  You are surrounded!  It’s your job to maximize the good and prune the bad.  If you ignore it, I promise you the bad “stuff” will grow rampant and out of control.  What is your environment trying to tell you?

In the end, I have ONE coaching question for you:

What are you keeping around, things that no longer have a use, don’t highlight your gifts and don’t have a future?

It may be time to clean out your closet…metaphorically speaking.

Want to get organized?  Try a 30 Day Dare at Lifedare.net!